Wrecked

At some point I’m going to have face the demons that gestate. 

Their evil hearts intertwined with mine. 

Blackness of an unnatural shade clouds my mind and soul.  

I am Prometheus as the eagle eats my liver everyday. 

I am tortured. 

 I am souless. 

 I am heartless.

I am wrecked. 

Damaged beyond repair some days. 

Repairing what damage has been done to me on other days. 

I can not weep. 

 I can not release. 

I can not breakdown. 

It’s a bitterness that poisons me and makes me not trust. 

It’s a rage that makes me want to destroy all that could be good. 

It’s an evil that turns my heart to black and makes me shut down. 

I breathe to live, but want to exhale.   

I exhale but it does not release. 

Tortured soul of mine cries out in pain. 

I push it further down to silence it. 

I swallow what should come out and spit what should be swallowed. 

The sun shines next to me but not on me. 

The warmth is a finger’s reach away but never reachable. 

I am numb but I can feel. 

I hurt but I can’t cry. 

I want but can not have. 

 I try to face what I can not see.  

 Challenge me,

dare me,

make me feel whole again. 

Pull the rope that tethers me. 

Pull me out. 

Pull me up. 

Pull me free.